Have we gone too far and made our men victims of the system, casting a net so wide that enables another kind of abuse? False allegations, AVO’s, social shaming, defamation and parental alienation. Is this the intention of our legal system and current movements in the prevention of violence against women to make men victims?

The conversation about domestic violence needs to change. We need facts and statistics about all genders. When we only associate violence with men, it affects our perception. What if the perpetrator isn’t a man?

When the situation is reversed and the shoe is on the other foot, it’s a huge challenge to deal with authorities who have preconceived notions about domestic violence. Men have to quickly explain or defend themselves, while women usually receive immediate support and belief. But what if her story isn’t true?

The conversation on domestic violence must include men as victims and not just the perpetrators of abuse. It’s the right thing to do.

Domestic Violence (DV) advocates and institutions should recognise that women who pretend to be abused when they are not are abusing everyone involved in the DV movement.

Ann Silvers, MA