The term ‘gaslight’ was first coined by Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play to describes a deceitful and manipulative practice that reveals the darker sides of human behaviour. In the play, a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she’s losing her mind by tampering with the gaslights and insisting it’s all in her imagination to the point where she doubts her own reality.

Your mind indeed is tired. Your mind so tired that it can no longer work at all. You do not think. You dream. Dream all day long. Dream everything. Dream maliciously and incessantly. Don’t you know that by now?”

Patrick Hamilton, GasLight

The term “gaslighting” has become a familiar concept in both psychology and our daily conversations, often describing the disorienting feelings that can lead someone to doubt their own memories and mental stability. This growing recognition is a reflection of our increased understanding of emotional abuse and manipulation in relationships, as individuals strive to make sense of their experiences and pinpoint unhealthy behaviours.

By referring to ‘gaslighting’, many find a way to express their confusion and validate their feelings. As a result, the term has transitioned from clinical discussions to everyday dialogue, encouraging open conversations about mental health, self-awareness, and empowerment, while shedding light on the subtle yet damaging effects these tactics can have on our mental well-being and interpersonal connections.

I recently saw the play Gaslight, starring the talented actors Geraldine Hakewill, Toby Schmitz, and Kate Fitzpatrick. It was advertised as a gripping new psychological thriller with a compelling storyline and intense character dynamics. Inspired, of course, by Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play, this version, revamped by Johnna Wright and Patty Jamieson first showcased at the 2022 Shaw Festival. They brought a fresh twist to a thrilling story of risk and uncertainty.

Set against the backdrop of Victorian London, the play delves into the complex interplay of power and deceit. As the story progresses, the suspense escalates and delves into the psychological maneuvering and strength of the human spirit in challenging times. Whilst this play is a psychological thriller, there is some light relief with subtle humor adding warmth to the characters and their plight. A welcome relief, as it provides a comical side to what is a serious tale.

In the play, Bella Manningham, played by Geraldine Hakewill, is a naive and gullible woman and becomes increasingly paranoid about her sanity due to strange noises and the suspicious behaviour of the gas lamps at night. She is seriously questioning the authenticity of her boyfriend, Jack, played by Toby Schmitz. As the tension escalates, Bella finds herself unable to trust her own senses. She is constantly second-guessing every interaction and event around her. The eerie flicker of the gas lamps casts ominous shadows, adding to Bella’s growing unease as she grapples with the unsettling realisation that the world around her may not be as it seems. Her once familiar surroundings morph into a labyrinth of uncertainty, fuelling a sense of isolation and fear that threatens to engulf her sanity.

As seen in this play, manipulation or madness seems to be the end game of the gaslighter, Jack in this case, as he meticulously executes his deceptive scheme. His actions may stem from a deep-rooted desire for control or a distorted perception of reality but it’s his greed that leads him to employ cunning tactics and calculated strategies to trick his wife, Bella, into thinking she’s losing her mind. It’s a great play and I recommend that you see it in whatever version is available to you, play or movie.

But getting back to the term ‘gaslighting’, and its relevance today. It is so important to recognise the signs of gaslighting and to reach out for support to free yourself from its harmful effects. This form of psychological manipulation can deeply undermine your sense of reality, making you question your own thoughts and feelings.

Nowadays, we are hearing more than ever about the significance of this issue in various relationships, both at home and in the workplace, as awareness expands and discussions surrounding mental health gain traction. Many individuals now comprehend the value of engaging in open conversations about emotional abuse, not just to identify their own struggles, but also to extend a helping hand to others who may be enduring their pain in silence.

Moreover, spotting the signs early on can empower you to reclaim your sense of self and cultivate healthier relationships. It’s important to understand that some signs of gaslighting can be quite subtle, as the gaslighter often uses tactics like denial, misdirection, and contradiction to distort your reality.

If you relate to this behaviour, always remember, you’re not alone in this—many have faced similar struggles. Taking steps to regain control can be daunting, but there is support available. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a close friend, a caring family member, or your local doctor who can guide you to a skilled counsellor. You are deserving of help and healing.

To learn more about ‘gaslighting’, visit https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/what-is-gaslighting/ or call 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).

If you need immediate help call 000 first.